By Derbhile Graham
A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about family ceremonies. There was a method to my madness – I was secretly planning a family ceremony, for the lovely Healy family in West Cork, in the deep south of Ireland. The family ceremony happened yesterday, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The family seemed to enjoy it too, so I’m going to chalk it up as a success.
The family were in a forest clearing and I was in my home in Tramore, Co. Waterford. We were connected by the mighty power of Zoom, but it felt as if I were there with them, watching their joy unfold. I’m now delighted to say that I’ve performed my first virtual ceremony – and nothing crashed!
The inspiration for the ceremony was a special wedding anniversary, but as this is a tight family unit, it made sense to get the whole family involved, with starring roles for the two young Healy children. So, we planned a ceremony full of rituals that the children could be part of.
Starting the Ceremony
To start with, I asked the family to stand in a circle, holding hands, because a circle goes on forever, just like their family. I also spoke about the woods where they were having their ceremony and how much the woods meant to them. Then I read a short poem called ‘Family Comes Together’ by Glaedr the Poet .
After that, the fun began. The family carried out rituals which symbolised their togetherness as a family. First, they did a sand ceremony. They all brought containers of sand from a local beach that they go to regularly, and they poured that sand into a special container, to show that they were inseparable as a family.
Then they showed me a page they had created with their fingerprints on it in rainbow colours. I told them that nobody’s fingerprints are the same. But when you put your fingerprints on the same page, it shows that you are joined together forever.
Wishes and Promises
Next came the part of the ceremony that was meant to be solemn: the ring and vow exchange. But when you put jelly rings and children into the mix, you can forget about solemn. For me, it was the most joyful part of the ceremony.
The family gave each other rings and shouted, ‘I do!’ As a celebrant, you have to know when to scrap your script, so I asked the family to all shout out, ‘We do!’ to affirm their commitment to love each other always.
The final ritual for the ceremony was the one the youngest child had been waiting for – bubble wishes. It’s quite simple. You blow bubbles and make a wish. The wish goes into the bubble and the bubble goes out into the world. As there was a strong wind on the day, we reckoned the bubbles would float to America and back!
The ceremony ended with a song the family had chosen. I left them alone to listen to it and chat amongst themselves. It was a song called A Million Dreams from The Greatest Showman (link), a song which is all about sharing dreams and good wishes for the future. A perfect choice for a family ceremony.
Thanks so much to the Healy family for being my guinea pigs for the virtual ceremony. I wish them a brilliant future full of love, joy and laughter.
Would you like to celebrate your family? I’d be delighted to help you do that with your very own family ceremony. Email firstname.lastname@example.org or call me, Derbhile, on 087 6959799 if you’d like to find out more.